Message in a Bottle # 12

Pirates held Captive in Malaysia

Will Gang hook and The Buxom Wench survive the Malaysian gallows????????

“Nay” screamed the Head of Immigration and Malaysian law,

"throw them to the sharks. We have been searching for these pirates for 24 moons or more, now we have them in our grasp, we shall throw them in the dungeons and chuck away the key."

Thirty days of hard labor and toil, 30 nights of drunken debauchery,” work hard, play harder” says the tireless captain; “we shall take all we can from this land of Siam, no Chandler nor shipwright, shall be left unscathed.” For on the morn of the 30^th day of the 7^th moon we shall make haste to Malaysian waters with our sea chests full and bootie aplenty.

So once again the handsome Ganghook, together with the Buxom Wench and their faithful crew set sail for Langkawi leaving the plundered shores of Phuket behind.
A 90 day holiday in is granted. The Captain has declared; No plundering, No pirating, for even the hardiest of pirates tire. Oh what joy; oh what fun the lusty wench sighs," we shall shop, we shall dine in the finest restaurants Malaysia has to offer, we shall explore the inland sights." Breathlessly she prepares for unknown adventures.

Ten days of idyllic cruising the exotic islands around Langkawi, crystal clear waters, white sandy beaches. A life of Riley. Simple pleasures of frozen Margarita’s at sunset, seafood delicacies on the shore and lazy mornings in the sun. Ah but enough of this! Malaysia has more to offer, a shopping spree is next on the holiday hit list and so Penang is the next port of call.
Unbeknown to all, the captain has developed a shoe fetish, or has he grown more feet? His foot locker has expanded with;

• four more pairs of shoes,
• eight check shirts,
• three pairs of shorts,
• two new hats
• and a nice new handbag for me!

So what can a girl do, with a new handbag, one needs to accessorizes so accessorize she does. Shop till you drop is the chant, Save on the bargains. Live for now and pay tomorrow. Oh we just love those little plastic thingies!
Now the business part of the holiday is done and dusted a bit of back to nature is required by the Captain. He has decided that he is going to treat his beauty to one of the natural wonders of the world. Taman Negara, the first and largest national park Malaysia has to offer. A show case of nature, a step back in time, fourteen fun filled nights listening to the sounds of silence!

His dream! Her nightmare! The Wench still doesn’t do bush. Trekking through the jungle, a watchful eye out for tigers, another for elephants, and yet another eye out for snakes. So many eyes a girl needs. The trekkers hear stories of the great white tiger, and the small but dangerous Malaysian jungle elephants. But alas; they have seen none.
Not is all lost in the captain’s mind. There are mountains to be climbed, snakes to be photographed and leaches galore. He is in his element. "Yet another element, the wench" adds ruefully. The Buxom Wench has been reduced to a disheveled wreck. Weak from a lack of blood, caused by the excessive thirst of the leaches, which together with the bite of the mosquito take their wretched toll? The two intrepid travelers must climb to the high grounds to escape the blood thirsty locals.

Finally, exhausted and weary, with pillows, wheelie backpacks, books and bandages the holiday makers board the bus headed for The Cameron Highlands, the Steam boat capital of Malaysia. Once at Fathers Guest house R&R is the order of the stay. A few gentle walks around the town, Tea for Two, (This is Tea growing country) bellies full of fresh F&V, back on track the two are ready to return to the good ship More Magic. Once more on board, the crew becomes restless and the call of the sea beckons. Crates of Rum and the finest wine are loaded. Ganghook and the Wench dressed to kill, approach the authorities. Ah, but alak and alas, the two are held captive by the Malaysian Immigration officers, for they have overstayed their welcome. Three months is apparently three days more than the 90 days granted.
Oh what a blunder!!!!!

For 6 torturous hot hours they are held in detention, subjected to ancient forms of interrogation, and finally forced to surrender their passports. All is not well, the ship lays at anchor the faithful crew on board waiting for their Captain and Wench to return, this can’t be happening, this just can’t happen!
The Handsome Captain and his beauty devise a plan, bribery and corruption is not dead,nothing and no-one can keep the Captain at bay for long.Finally, with papers and passports in order a hasty getaway is made and they leave Malaysian waters.

North we go once again. Take me to Thailand……, Burma, ………, or India.

Anywhere as long as it is far far away...